Oxthink

I have lots of ideas; I just can’t always remember them. My problem is that I have more confidence in my memory and powers of recall than is justified.

How many times do I say to myself? “That’s an interesting thought. I must remember it.”

How many times do I say to myself? “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”

And then, days, hours, minutes later, the idea is gone. Forgotten. A lost memory. If I don’t write it down, there’s no guarantee it will ever see the light of day.

Strangely, suspiciously, when I do write an idea down and return to it in order to make use of it; I read my notes and think how could I have forgotten about this? It’s so obvious. This then feeds my complacency. It makes me lazy about writing things down in the future.

“Of course I’ll remember that. I don’t need to write that down. How could I forget such a thing?”

But, guess what, no surprises, I soon forget.

Sometimes I hope that if the idea is that good, it will come back to me. At other times, I will just give up on it – a missed opportunity.

Sometimes I will know I’ve had a good thought, but I just can’t remember what it was. I will try to trace my movements and thoughts to see if I can rekindle the idea. Where was I? What was I doing when I had the thought? Let me do it again. Maybe the thought will come back to me. Sometimes it does; more often it does not.

Usually, it’s only the spark that I need. I will know I have had a good idea if I can remember even the basics of what it was about, and then all else will come flooding back. But too often, that initial reminding spark isn’t there, and so the whole edifice is lost.

Even if I specifically tell myself I need to remember it, there’s no guarantee I will. My brain just doesn’t always do what I want or what it is told to do. It’s not as dependable as I would like.

I’m not even sure whether this aspect of how my mind works is relatively new or whether I’ve always been like this. Was I like this in my youth? Have I trained my brain to think like this? I don’t know. I can’t remember. You see, my memory is just not my strong point.

What hurts most is the thought that the forgotten idea might have been my big one, the one that was destined for greatness and glory. Such a loss torments me. What have I missed out on? What has the world missed out on because of this mental frailty or affliction?

I’m calling these memory lapses a weakness when perhaps I should put a more positive spin on them. I should be focusing on my strength, the fact that I have lots of ideas. If I had a good memory, then I might not be so prolific on the creative side. I should therefore be grateful, even if the odd fish does get away, that I have still managed to catch plenty.

That’s why, rather than worry that this might be an age thing or, even worse, some sort of early-onset dementia, I now recognise it and embrace it for what it is – a creative gift. It’s not a problem; it’s just the way my brain works.

I might not be very good at remembering stuff, but I’m certainly very good at thinking stuff up.

And so I make the adjustments.

Having identified this particular weakness or inability, I’ve tried to find ways around it. I’ve learnt to manage it. Just as the amputee adapts to using crutches, I have made my own adaptations.

• I now keep a pen and paper on my bedside cabinet, ready for any epiphany moments that can occur in the midst of slumber.
• When out and about, I use the voice recorder on my mobile – though, being of a certain age, I prefer the more traditional pen and paper.
• I will also, every so often, do mental stimulation exercises in order to try to sharpen my brain and keep it in the best condition I can.
• I keep a notepad in the car just in case I see something that inspires me.

None of these things presents any great hardship or difficulty. They just help to ensure I make the most of what I have.

I have reconciled myself to the way my mind works. I don’t want to change it; I just want to make the best of it.

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For more thoughts, go to the Oxthink Home page or check out the different sections on Health and Well-being, Lifestyle Choices, Parenting Advice, Understanding Society and General pages.

Alternatively, for articles on genetics and evolution, visit this author’s dedicated site at Genetically Wrapped.